Intro Post?

Hey,

Just trying to get this whole "publishing opinions in a public forum" thing down, I'm not entirely convinced my thoughts should be posted online, but what the hell... It's not like I can't erase them from the web(damn google cache).

The prospect of traveling to Africa as a volunteer is not frightening, it is interesting, very very interesting. It should be noted that I am not an altruist and I am not a selfless person, I am not a bleeding heart and I do not believe I can single handedly fix the problems that exist in our world. In fact I have long had trouble justifying/understanding the existence of humanity, I see no divine will or logic in our continued existence as a species. Love, laughter, drugs, friendship and music are great(especially music and laughter), but someone messed up and I don't know if we should be here.

I am driven by a desire to understand why people live, what life means to people in another part of the world and just how/why they keep on living. Maybe through understanding how others interpret life I can see a bit clearer, it never hurts to have a shared experience.

Imagine living in a shared apartment, there are only two parking spaces to be used by three people. One parking space is continually cleared by the first person, the other two people share the second space. Over time the second space becomes filled with trash, debris, snow, whatever. One of the two people sharing the space continually complains about the mess but never lifts a finger, the other becomes annoyed with having to always clean the space up and eventually that person becomes apathetic and lets the space fill with old shopping carts and dog shit to the point no-one wants to use it. I hope to never be the complainer, and I am trying to fight the apathy this world invokes in me. Our world is messed up, I can ignore the problems or I can try to understand them. Once I understand the problems I will know whether or not I have anything to offer.

I am going overseas to learn and to disperse what little knowledge I have, I am hoping that I will provide something(anything) to the people I meet in Ghana and bring back as much knowledge as I can stuff in my shiny bald head.

The thing that strikes fear in my eyes, that rattles my hypothetical soul and sends quivers of dread down my spine is the heat. I am going to melt, to dissolve into a mass of pasty white flesh(well it'll be red with sunburn). What will I do without constant access to purified water, without snow? It is not something I've ever had to experience, it'll be interesting.

Serious fears revolve around being overly judgmental; who am I to walk into another country and tell people how to behave? I know I have my reservations, I know my beliefs and I'm an extremely judgmental person. I just hope I am not put in a position which requires maturity beyond mine. My beliefs on gender equality will no doubt cause problems, as will my beliefs on the use of physical force. We shall see.